Instead of constantly comparing yourself to others, focus on your own performance, writes coach Darryl Davis. They will grow faster and your journey will be more enjoyable.
Let’s talk about the habits that are quietly draining more real estate careers than any market change ever. It’s about comparing yourself to other agents.
Your team’s record-breaking player. Its name is written on every sign in the neighborhood. Peers whose social feeds appear to be on a long, uninterrupted winning streak.
If you feel small looking at them, this is for you.
The reason why the speed is slower when compared
Imagine a swimmer who keeps turning his head to look at the lane beside him during a race. Every time you look sideways, your form collapses, your stroke drags, and your pace gets thrown off. That’s exactly what comparisons can do to your business.
The energy you spend evaluating yourself against other agents is energy you’re not spending on your own clients, your own pipeline, your own next call. You literally swim slower in your own race because you keep your eyes on your lane.
And it becomes compounded. Every minute you spend studying the success of others is a minute spent building your own success. So it doesn’t just feel like a poor comparison; It actively widens the very gap you are suffering from.
Agents who stick to their jobs tend to be ahead of those who keep scoring everyone else. It’s not because they’re talented, it’s because they direct all of their energy forward rather than sideways.
Numbers tell you less than you think
It’s tempting to treat other agents’ work as evidence that they are better and you are inferior. However, the higher the number, the worse the scoreboard for your value. Before you give too much weight to your feelings, remember all the things that are conveniently left out.
Costs are not displayed. That amount may have come at the cost of missed dinners, strained relationships, or a level of burnout you’ll never be willing to trade. It does not represent the season. You may be comparing your slow stretch to someone else’s peak, two very different points on two very different journeys. It does not represent the whole person. What you’re seeing is the highlight reel, not behind the scenes, and the gap between the two is almost always huge. Please remember this. People only show you what they want you to see. They don’t show you their losses and struggles. There is no indication of what will happen next. Today’s leader could be tomorrow’s afterthought, and today’s quiet grinder could be next year’s breakthrough. A single snapshot cannot predict anything about the trajectory.
None of those things show up in the headline numbers, but those headline numbers are what have defined how you feel about your career. It’s a bad deal, but the good news is you can quit it today.
run your own race
The solution is to not play the comparison game too hard. It’s about quitting the game completely and going back to your lane. Turn your questions inward.
What am I really good at? Am I proud of the people I helped this year? Who am I actually trying to build a career for?
The sellers you’ve dealt with so well have never checked your rankings against top producers. They felt how you treated them, and that’s an indicator that will quietly repay you with referrals over the years.
This is the liberating part, and I want you to take it seriously. You don’t have to be the biggest name on the market to be exactly the right professional for the next family that needs you. Your worth is not tied to your position on a leaderboard. The day you stop checking the leaderboard is the day you start swimming your fastest.
Try this as a real reset.
Mute accounts that make you feel like you’re behind, even if it’s only for one season. Replace that scrolling time with a single productive action, like making one more check-in call or writing one more note to a past client.
Comparing is passive and exhausting. You will be more active and your stomach will be full. You can’t feel envy and enthusiasm at the same time, so keep choosing to be enthusiastic and run up the leaderboard without you.
Keeping your eyes on your lane will help you swim faster, serve better, and actually enjoy the race. If you keep watching other people’s goals, you’ll end up exhausted chasing a finish line that wasn’t yours to begin with.
Daryl Davis, CSP, is a nationally recognized real estate speaker, bestselling author, and coach with over 40 years of experience in the industry. For more information, visit darrylspeaks.com.
