Instead of stealing toxic social media comparisons, broker Pam Blair holds you different things rather than stealing your joy.
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“Comparison is a thief of joy” – Theodore Roosevelt
It’s 6pm, I’m tired, but happy when I sink onto the couch. The aroma of the homemade pasta sauce remains in the air. My dog and I went for a long sunny walk. All tasks in the calendar are checked off. It’s time to relax.
Next, start scrolling.
Within seconds, my mood sank. A fellow agent spins around in glittering silver pants to celebrate her latest success. Suddenly, my good day feels like it’s not very good. Did I do enough? Am I enough?
Social media works with lightning. A study from MIT found that the brain processes images in just 13 ms. It’s how quickly we steal our joy.
The inevitable trap of comparison
Social comparisons stick to us. In 1954, psychologist Leon Festifenger’s social comparison theory revealed our natural impulse to assess ourselves against others. In real estate, this trend is amplified in industries built on relationships.
There are two types of social comparisons.
Upward comparison: Look at those who are in front of us looking for inspiration. Downward comparison: Look at the people behind us to feel better about ourselves.
As a lifelong excess, I spent years measuring myself against the best and brightest. Sometimes it fuels me. Otherwise it drains me.
But today’s world has changed the game. Social media inevitably made comparisons distorted reality and turned things into self-doubt that could motivate them.
The dark side of social comparison
Social media offers a curated glimpse of others’ lives rather than reality. This constant exposure can lead to what psychologists call social comparative syndrome.
Symptoms include:
Low self-esteem anxiety and depression vy hope and inadequate body image problems affecting social isolation
Even if you’re not a big Skrah, social pressure is everywhere. So how do we maintain the comparison from stealing our joy?
Five Ways to Manage Social Comparisons
1. Practice pause
Take a deep breath before scrolling unconsciously. Ask yourself: Do I really want to go down this rabbit hole? A 10-second pause helps you make conscious choices rather than impulsive.
2. Restrict social media use
Recognition is important. Track your time spent scrolling. Set the timer if necessary. The goal is not to eliminate social media, but to control the impact on thinking.
3. Become a creator, not just a consumer
I post almost every day, but limit my scrolling to 5 posts. This discipline allows me to get involved without being sucked into a comparison trap.
4. Practice gratitude
Comparisons thrive with a greater mindset. Thank you is an antidote. Write down three things you are grateful for every day. It shifts your focus from what you lack to what you have.
5. Set goals and celebrate victory
Clear and realistic goals are based on your journey, not someone else’s highlight reel. I create daily goals each year, month and month, and maintain a vision board close to my perspective. And when I became a milestone? I celebrate – whether it’s a nice dinner for my dog or a new toy.
Own your unique path
In an industry where success is often defined by numbers, it is easy to get caught up in comparison. But real estate is not all-purpose. The beauty of this business is that there are endless ways to succeed.
Instead of comparing, not stealing your joy, embrace what makes you different. Lift others up. Celebrate your victory. And remember: Your journey is only you.
Pamblair is the broker owner of Yogabug Real Estate in Portland, Oregon. Connect with her on Instagram or LinkedIn.
