Each year, real estate publications and associations celebrate the industry’s brightest young stars, the 30 Under 30. “20 Under 20” talent is on the rise. Next generation.
There’s nothing wrong with recognizing young professionals who have done a great job. Here’s what I noticed: With the spotlight on the younger crowd, I began to feel like quietly, subtly, others were being made invisible.
If you’re an agent over 40, whether you’re newly licensed or a seasoned veteran, you may be starting to feel this way.
You’ll scroll through your coworker’s TikTok feed and think, I can’t do that. You’d look at someone’s Instagram Reels (ring lights, trending audio, perfectly timed mini-comedy edits) and wonder if real estate was passing right before their eyes.
When I hear talk about AI tools and the latest social media strategies, something whispers in the back of my mind. “Maybe I don’t belong here anymore.”
That whisper is lying to you.
It’s not a question of years in real estate, it’s a question of life.
Let me be clear up front: this conversation has nothing to do with how long you’ve been in the real estate industry. You may have just attended your first sales meeting, or you may have been attending one for 20 years. it doesn’t matter. The point is that in a culture that values youth, people are made to feel like their age is a disadvantage.
Don’t you feel like you’ve heard it somewhere? It should. These same tensions play out every day in corporate offices across America. Older professionals watch their younger colleagues arrive at new platforms with boundless energy and effortless fluency and wonder, “Do I still have a place here?” Am I still relevant?
In real estate or anywhere else, the answer is yes. But the reason may surprise you.
What did you bring?
What 30 Under 30 people still don’t have is a fulfilling life. Not the kind built from real stakes, real losses, and real resilience. They’ve probably never sat down with a terminally ill parent and made impossible decisions. They haven’t been able to overcome a divorce, rebuild from financial ruin, raise a child through hardship, or pivot their lives at age 50 because their first chapter didn’t work out.
you have. So when you sit across from a customer who is scared to make the biggest financial decision of their life, you can bring something to the table that no social media strategy can match. I mean, you’ve been through a lot. You know what that feels like. That tacit understanding is more valuable than any perfectly produced video.
Lessons the rest of the world already knows
In Japanese, Chinese, West African, Native American, and countless other cultures, elders are not tolerated. they are respected. Their wisdom is trusted because it is earned.
Gray hair is not a sign of fading. It’s a signal that they know something the other person doesn’t yet understand. American culture doesn’t always work that way. But it doesn’t have to be your inner story. You decide your own worth.
diamond principle
Do you know how diamonds are formed? coal. Plain, ordinary coal is subjected to extraordinary pressures over long periods of time. It will not break even under pressure. Pressure creates that.
Think about the pressures you have been under in your life. Years of responsibility and times that tested you, times when you had to dig deep and find courage you didn’t even know you had. That pressure didn’t weaken you, it shaped you. The perseverance you have cultivated, the ability to remain steady in the face of uncertainty, is the strength of a diamond.
The 28-year-old with great content can attract attention. Mature agents with hard-earned personalities earn trust. In our business, trust ends the transaction.
Lead with your life, not your list.
It’s a mindset shift that can change everything. Don’t go into the reservation list thinking you have to impress homeowners with your marketing tools. Sure, tools are important, but taking the lead in the tech stack and social media means you’re playing in a field where younger agents can have an advantage, leaving your biggest asset in your car.
Your greatest asset is you and the life you have lived. Lead with that.
When you talk to homeowners who are nervous about selling the home they’ve raised their children in or worried about making a big financial move after a loss, don’t reach for the brochure. Lean into the connection.
You know what it feels like to be in a difficult moment. You made a big, scary decision. I once had to trust someone I didn’t have confidence in. Let your clients know that you have lived a similar life and that you understand.
That kind of empathy doesn’t come from courses. It comes from many years of experience as a human being in a complex world.
And when you put it into practice, amazing things happen. You will look more confident because you are based on solid experience. The homeowner will relax, open up and trust you. Not because of the number of followers, but because you made them feel understood.
No matter how good the content is, very few young agents can make it happen.
Use your tools and keep your voice heard
This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t learn new tools or adopt technology. Try the platform. But use them in your own words and in your own voice. Don’t pretend to be someone half your age. In a world overflowing with artificial content, authenticity is a competitive advantage.
Find an approach that works for you, such as calling instead of DM, sending a handwritten note, or leaving it somewhere where people can see you. Listen to what young agents can offer who just haven’t been around long enough.
To all the mature agents reading this and wondering if there’s still a place for you in this industry – there is. More than that, this industry needs you. It takes depth, judgment, and an agent who understands to the bone what it means to guide a human being through one of life’s biggest decisions.
You are not late. You are not outdated. You are a diamond formed over a lifetime.
Please act accordingly.
