Coach Annette DeCicco argues that relying on pure willpower is doomed to failure. Her 8-on-8 success formula relies instead on strong “situation.”
We’ve all tested our resolve through sheer willpower. In fact, we do it every January 1st. The proliferation of gym memberships, diet meal plans, and yes, the ubiquitous training and coaching programs are steadily declining as the realities of time, cost, and questionable value set in.
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A recent New York Times guest essay, “Willpower Doesn’t Work. This Does.” A book by psychologist Angela Duckworth caught my eye. Some of you may remember her national bestseller, Grit, which captivated the business world. It explores why some talented people fail while others succeed.
In his editorial, Dr. Duckworth pivots a bit from just having “grit” to succeed. Her new book, Sowned: Finding the People and Place that Bring Out Your Best, challenges every argument known to those who have “gritted their teeth” through willpower to succeed.
How can we overcome fatigue and find our own grit to overcome it? We must embrace more than pure willpower and instead focus on what Duckworth calls “situated agency.”
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When we “do”, we fail. And we abandon our “best laid plans,” which statistically take anywhere from 2-3 weeks to 6 months. We succumb to our most basic human wiring. In other words, if someone is forced to do something against their will, they will quit. This is where the ability to respond to situations comes into play.
Let’s start with a simple example to explain some complicated-sounding terms.
Will Power: I don’t eat cookies. I don’t eat cookies. I ate a cookie.
Situation Agency: Don’t buy cookies.
The bottom line is that successful people are able to act in response to circumstances by arranging their lives in a way that minimizes the need for willpower. When they put themselves in situations that make a task or goal easier, they don’t eat the cookie or commit to a set of business strategies, and they do the hard things more consistently.
How do we use our will to resist temptations that are designed to be irresistible?
It depends on your situation, your company, your location, and what you store. “Put the things you want more of close to you and the things you want less of move away from you,” Duckworth writes.
Successful strivers who rely on intentional situations are never casual in what they do or say. Because the casual result will be a weak and embarrassing dialogue, the lost opportunity will not be easily recovered, or worse, the plan will be abandoned and “quit”. They depend more on circumstances than on will.
8 simple “situations” of successful agents
People who have initiative and self-discipline and seem to succeed naturally or easily are usually people who build habits or follow simple systems that produce positive results, such as:
Move your phone to another room or turn it upside down. Silence notifications for social likes, comments, impressions, and more. Follow a single screen policy to avoid distractions. There is no second screening on multiple devices. Collaborate with accountability partners to challenge effectiveness and create better results. Create a comfortable and conducive workspace, whether it’s your home or office, and limit distractions from sights and sounds like children’s play or office chatter. Easily access resources before tackling a task, presentation, or goal. Navigate through the hours, days, weeks, and months according to your calendar. Contain the whirlwind and its 24/7 availability until the specified task is completed.
8 Difficult “Situations” of Successful Agents
Leverage the leads they have – their personal contacts – by reaching out consistently and following up intentionally. For example, email the owner the monthly or quarterly AVM for their home. Automated Valuation Models (AVMs) are available for free through NAR’s Realtor Property Resource (RPR), portals like Realtor.com and Zillow’s Zestimate, and brand platforms like Bold Trail’s technology stack. Follow Up Bosses, Real Scouts, engage buyer leads in your CRM or website, match leads with needs, and offer alternatives to get callbacks. Process client transactions as a trusted referral source. This is the case when reinforcing the agent’s value for options that often complement the client’s consulting options and help them make a profit or save pocket money. Since NAR’s 2024 Settlement, we have educated sellers, including FSBOs and expiring listed owners, on a wide range of fee sharing options, helping sellers make the best decisions in a more regulated and complex market. We provide valuable services to educate buyers about some of the changes that will benefit homebuyers since the NAR 2024 settlement and facilitate buyer buy-in in line with buyer agency agreements. Explore forward-thinking buyers and sellers with powerful “on a scale of 1-10” questions, gauge people’s motivations, guide actionable steps, and guide agents into the role of trusted advisor. Qualify your prospects with hypothetical “what if” questions that turn wishes into reality, like the Ninja Selling podcast’s magic wand question. “If you could wave a magic wand…what would it look like?” As Tom Ferry has demonstrated, LPMAMA covers all the bases for buyer conversion: location, price, motivation (measured on a scale of 1 to 10), agent, mortgage, appointment.
There is power in “depending on the situation”
Successful agents are never accidental actors because they depend on intentional circumstances. They don’t stumble over words or awkward conversations. They are serious and studying. They haven’t quit the industry.
Coaches often hear disappointed agents say, “I’ll never do that again” after a failed prospect conversion or an ill-prepared attempt. However, until you are offered “situational agency,” it is conditional on you being surrounded by the right people, places, and things that will improve your performance, protect your daily routine, get more clients, and easily fill your divine pipeline.
You are the director of your own life, your own business
This year, instead of spending your life feeling defeated, underachieving, and feeling guilty, arrange your life into carefully chosen “situations” that support your success.
Control who and what goes into your personal space in 8 easy and 8 not-so-easy situations. With practice and consistency, you can make intentional choices to create the life and business you want.
Annette DeCicco is a real estate broker and growth development director for Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices Jordan Baris Realty in northern New Jersey. Connect with her on LinkedIn and Instagram.
