Dear we are teachers,
I can’t help but realize that male teachers in my elementary school don’t need to do tasks that “go beyond” their teacher duties. They are on the list and are not volunteering to support, guide group activities, or organize (or contribute) potlucks. They don’t become hounds to join the Sunshine Club or turn backwards on the whims of PTA moms. Should I point this out to the principal? If so, what do you think?
– Volantrude to volunteer
Dear VTV,
*Fau*As a teacher and mother of toddlers, I know the implicit mental load placed on women, whether intended or not. Not only is it unfair, it is also a breeding ground for resembling.
Before I do anything, I take a step back and think about the big picture. What does “hound” mean? Teachers are specifically told to do something/Do volunteers do something, or is it calm to ask that some teachers may be misunderstood? Clear orality can be addressed directly, but less direct questions may require more nuance when discussing them. I also know the desire for people. In fact, when I had to agree with what I had to do and learn to say no, I can make a lot of feel like it’s on my plate. Are the questions specifically aimed at women, or are they more likely to move forward?
Please know I’m not saying these things to undermine your concerns. I’m saying this, so you’re ready to respond to any rebuttals that may be raised.
Whether you should approach your principal depends on your relationship with them and the level of your frustration. If you have a good relationship with the principal, cultivate it as an observation rather than an accusation. This question is sitting in your mind and mentions that you want to share it with them. Getting closer to it with the spirit of wanting to support fellow teachers and the school community as a whole is a good way to develop positive conversations.
If you don’t have a close relationship with the principal, measure whether this is a makeup or break issue for you. If so, it’s worth discussing.
Are there any fellow teachers who agree with you? Once you enter a group, it can indicate that the issue affects the culture of the staff, and is more than just a complaint. Whether it’s a group or a solo, I come to the table with a solution. Share observations, respond to rebuttals, share potential solutions. One of the articles is to “make work explicit.” Instead of flaunting things like Potluck organizations and PTA messaging management, it could be a clear role that someone (or more than one person) can fulfill, rather than becoming an instantaneous commitment. By making work explicit and opening it up for a bigger conversation, it will be easier for the entire school community to ensure a more equitable workload for all teachers. Good luck! i believe in you!
Dear we are teachers,
Our administration gave all teachers a dum dam lollipop over the weekend. It feels like the school is saying that we are “dum dam” or sucker for working in schools or joining educational professionals. I don’t think this is interesting! Should I talk?
– It’s not a stupid dam
Dear Nad,
It’s a difficult time to become a teacher now. Really. In addition to feeling burned out, many of us feel that the public is negatively aware of our work. You can understand that when we feel that our work is not only more demanding than before, but also not appreciated by the community we are trying to serve, we may feel defensively about the work we are doing.
So I want to hear your frustration and push back the gut reaction to get “dummum”. Has your school made you do something that made you believe you are disrespecting you? Has someone in your administration or someone who may have made this choice made a comment that denies the teachers calling you a “sucker” or the work they introduced you?
If so, I feel hurt and irritated. It’s worth telling your manager that this joke is harmful.
If not, I think it’s worth assuming the best intentions. The little lollipop is an affordable and fun snack that can be easily displayed in your teacher’s mailbox. My administration actually does this several times a year. I’m always grateful for the explosion of sugar and the fun moments I find non-student notes and other documents in my mailbox. I don’t wonder if there is a hidden message because I know they respect and appreciate my work. It’s a good way to be treated.
If you have no reason to believe that your administration is disrespecting you, take a breath and be curious: where does this defense come from? And is it actually directed towards your administration? Or are you traveling from another source? Is it up to your administration, for example, the public misconception of the work we do?
I know it’s difficult there. We are not dummies. We are trying to find support in a society that doesn’t always value us. We hope that we will reach out to administrators and colleagues for their support and not push them away unnecessarily if they want to help. Good luck. I believe in you, and I will send you lots of love and care.
Dear we are teachers,
I am a high school teacher who works with special education teachers. I had a new special education teacher and I ran into some problems with them. They consistently arrive late to class and do not participate in lesson plans. They also leave classrooms during teaching hours without explanation and miss the long lesson hours. I shared these issues with the management team, but were instructed to discuss them directly with the teacher. I think that’s the responsibility of the administration as their supervisor. I’m worried that it could create more tension in our working relationships. How can I move forward?
– Collaboration status
Dear cs,
Collaborative education can be a challenging relationship to navigate. Even in the best circumstances, it’s adjustment.
I understand your desire to have your administration handle this situation. I find it difficult to give peer-to-peer feedback. We also understand your concerns about putting a burden on the relationship. Passing it to your administrator may feel like it provides a shield, so you don’t need to confuse this teacher.
That being said, I agree that you are the first person to deal with this with the teacher. It’s not your job to assess this teacher, but it’s your job to manage the collaborative relationships you have with them. Your administration is not someone who has witnessed being directly affected by this behavior. It makes sense to connect with your teachers and share your thoughts and concerns with them before sharing them.
It may not be a difficult conversation! It’s worth treating this person with the respect and transparency of a professional colleague. You can demonstrate that you value their work by having a clear discussion with them first about the issue, rather than feeling that you go behind their backs and above their heads without warning. They may just not know the expectations, and they are willing to adjust.
In that note, I will check out a few things before I go to the teacher. First of all, are there any expectations for their role in terms of lesson planning, timeliness, or staying in the room? I imagine, and when you share your concerns with them, I have those useful things. I will approach them as calmly as possible. Rather than casting accusations, we will state how the facts and their work are not currently tailored to expectations, and discuss how the changes they have made can be made.
Also, are they working with other teachers in similar roles to you? I reach out to them and see if they are facing similar issues. If so, sharing your expectations with your teacher may be helpful. That way, you know that it needs to make more important changes, not just the problems you are having.
If you are really uncomfortable, or if you have already tried to raise your concerns to the teacher, and it didn’t work, you can ask someone on your management team to join you for a conversation. This is what I think is essential for you to be there as your living experience and class culture is at risk, but that doesn’t mean you need to be alone. Good luck, I believe in you!
Do you have any burning questions? Please email askweareteachers@weareteachers.com.
Dear we are teachers,
I am in my second year of education and am constantly exhausted. I cancelled my barre class and book club because I thought it would help me cut out my weekday activities. But now I have now reached a point where I don’t want to do anything on the weekend either. Will teacher fatigue improve? Or is it a problem that is necessary to fix this?
– Abandoned new teacher
