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Thanksgiving is a relatively new tradition in my life, but it marks the beginning of one of my favorite love stories. I have lived in the United States for 22 years, and for my mother, this holiday has always been an opportunity to take a break from the demands of single parenthood and her role as a high school teacher. Also, it was always right around her birthday and the only gift she ever wanted was a day off from cooking. So we ordered takeout from Boston Market, one of the few stores open on Thanksgiving, and spent the day watching movies while putting up holiday decorations.
The first time my mom and I celebrated Thanksgiving with my spouse’s family, it felt like we were back in our own family in Mexico. The heat from the kitchen fogged up our glasses, soccer was playing on the TV, and both American and Latin music was playing from the speakers. The room was filled with laughter, children playing, and teenagers impatiently asking about the food before it was ready. It was the perfect blend of American and Mexican traditions.
Thanksgiving 2018 marked the unification of two families. For the past six years, we’ve prepared ofrendas, provided shoes for Three Kings Day, hidden eggs for children to find during Easter, and matched Christmas pajamas. We have exchanged traditions. But more importantly, we have given each other permission to live beyond our previous labels.
Coming together and sharing our traditions has also given us a safe space to explore parts of our identity that we were once hesitant to embrace. My mother and I always held tightly to our Mexican immigrant identities, fearing that embracing our American heritage would mean leaving our traditions behind. My spouse’s family, on the other hand, has lived in the United States for so long that they feel more connected to their American roots and embrace Mexican traditions from which they felt disconnected. I was hesitant.
But since we became one family, we have helped each other find balance. I’ve gotten used to embracing my American side. My spouse’s family asked us for help in rediscovering their Mexican heritage. She requested Spanish lessons to better communicate with relatives who only speak Spanish, and to prepare for the arrival of her family. Travel to Mexico. Now I’m excited to know that we don’t belong to just one place. We belong to two people.
As we gather together for Thanksgiving each year, we are reminded that traditions are not static, but evolve just like us. What started as two separate families with different histories and miscommunications has grown into one family that honors both Mexican and American identities.
This is a lesson that can be learned not only at the table, but also in everyday life. This holiday season, why not engage in some uncomfortable conversations? Immigration, another fusion of cultures, can be difficult to talk about, but there is value in finding common ground and a way forward.
Together, we can create a space where we don’t have to choose between cultures, but instead can celebrate the richness of what America has to offer. Blending my own family traditions reminds me that embracing the new doesn’t mean losing who we are, it means expanding it. And in that expansion, we discovered deeper connection, understanding, and the joy of belonging to something bigger than ourselves.
Item: Talking Türkiye