Being authentic opens doors. Broker and owner Deb Siefkin talks about what conversations actually happen when decisions are difficult.
Authenticity is not your problem. Most agents today are already more natural, more visible, and more themselves than they were a few years ago.
My script is gone. The polish has become softer. And in a feed full of overproduced content and AI-generated noise, that change matters.
Participate in the INMAN Intel Index Survey
If it’s real, you might get noticed, but it doesn’t mean you’ll be chosen. It’s not the marketing that breaks this. It shows up in conversation.
You’re sitting across the table from a couple you’ve been looking for for weeks. You’ve shown them some houses, they like you, and by most standards you’re doing everything right. You were responsive, personable, and easy to work with. And one of them said, almost casually: “I have no idea what I’m missing.”
Most agents hear that, think it’s an inventory or timing issue, and keep moving. They send out more listings, schedule more showings, and keep the process moving forward. But the problem isn’t the number of houses they looked at, so it doesn’t really move anything forward. That means we don’t yet know what the client wants to solve.
They’re not trying to find a home. They are trying to make decisions they can trust.
Where does confusion come from?
This distinction is more important than most agents realize. Because until that need comes to the surface, everything else becomes noise. Usually the hesitation you see is not a coincidence. It comes from a specific thing that has not yet been named.
In some cases, price and expectations may not match. Sometimes “correct” is not clearly defined. In some cases, one person may be ready to move, but the other person may not yet be able to do so.
No amount of activity will solve the problem until it is revealed, whatever it is.
And here the agent silently loses control of the process. Clients begin to expand their circle. They mentioned a conversation they had at an open house. Another agent will forward the list to you. They start second-guessing your guidance, not because you did something wrong, but because they don’t understand something yet.
So they look elsewhere for clarity.
Being authentic doesn’t solve that. While the confusion remains, your likability will increase.
How can we help clients make decisions?
And that’s the uncomfortable part of this conversation. Your customers aren’t hiring you for yourself. They’re hiring you to uncover what’s really driving their decisions and help them move forward with clarity.
To do that, you need to do something that most agents avoid. Instead of speeding up the moment, you need to slow it down.
“Let’s pause for a moment. When we say we don’t know what we’re missing, it usually means we haven’t identified what’s most important yet. Let’s figure that out before we look at anything else.”
Now, the conversation changes. You no longer react to the process. You will be helping them make real decisions.
In some cases, that follow-up may sound like this:
“Is it because the houses aren’t lined up side by side, or because we haven’t yet defined clearly enough what ‘correct’ is?”
Or you can do something like this:
“Do you both feel ready to make a decision once we find the right one? Or are you still considering that part?”
No further information available. That’s the structure.
Because today’s buyers don’t go into the process in the dark. They have access to more information than ever before, including lists, data, videos, and AI summaries, but that doesn’t make decision-making any easier. Rather, they are more overwhelming and more difficult to organize in an actionable way.
Information does not create confidence. Understanding is possible.
And in this context, understanding means making them understand why they are hesitant and whether it is actually the house, the price, or the decision itself that is holding them back.
If it’s genuine, it may be trusted. But clarity is why it is chosen.
This is a level that is currently missing from most marketing conversations. The real impact is in what happens after you get attention, but the focus is still on how you get attention. Authenticity opens doors, but when decisions become difficult, it’s not enough to get the conversation going.
The agents who are currently living apart are people who can do both. They feel real and make things clear. One person puts them in the room. The other is why they stay.
Because at the end of the day, clients don’t remember who showed them the most homes. They remember who helped them understand what they were actually trying to do.
Deb Siefkin is a practicing broker and founder of RightSize Realty Associates. Connect with Deb on LinkedIn and Instagram.
