Dear we are teachers,
I’m pregnant with my first child and feel absolutely miserable. I can barely get up from my desk most days, have to pee every 30 minutes, get thrown into the trash in the classroom and do more than I can count. I know that some of these symptoms will improve, but I also know that others will take their place! How are you supposed to go through the next 33 weeks?
– Measure during pregnancy
Dear twp,
If you can reach out from the screen and give us a big hug, you will.
Congratulations if this pregnancy is generally exciting. If it’s not that exciting, I’m paying a lot of attention to you. I’m not subscribing to images of Glowy’s Goddess of Pregnancy. There may be a lot of beautiful things about pregnancy, but that is also difficult. You are raising humans! Your organs move, and you create a whole new organ! I just want to examine the challenge: pregnancy symptoms and classroom management? That’s a lot.
My biggest advice is to talk to a doctor. I tried to “muscle” my terrible nausea until 18 weeks later, my baby and I discovered I was lacking in weight. I finally told the doctor what was going on and asked for help. I was prescribed medication to help me maintain a healthy weight (and I was able to lift a bit of fatigue when I kept my food down). Even if you don’t take anything, they may have other ideas that will help you manage your symptoms. I also love the work of Karrie Locher and the need for First-Tri.
Also, start doing more things you want to do while pregnant or as a new mom. Ask for help and say no if necessary.
Create a list of people you can ask for help. Find someone who can support you as “changing ability” even if you don’t share your pregnancy with them. Next, create a list of things that can be more difficult. Now, look at how many challenges you can match with those you can help. Can some of the more physical parts of your day become classroom work managed by your students? Are there any teachers or staff who can jump in when you really have to pee or when you feel too much nausea? Can they help you plan downtime/reflection to class routines, or can you get a small break?
I also recommend saying no to anything that is not entirely necessary or does not bring joy to you. Pregnancy means your body needs a lot of energy and rest. Let’s take that rest.
Overall, when it was tough, I tried to remember that this situation was as temporary as everything. Rather than a challenge that needs to be overcome, situations have an end in the end. Take it every day and don’t be ashamed or afraid to ask for help. Good luck, I believe in you!
Dear we are teachers,
I’m trying to find a way to handle situations with colleagues who seem to be subtly provoking me. I am a teacher with several years of experience and I have always tried to maintain professional and friendly relationships with all of my colleagues.
However, it makes it difficult for new staff, who have just graduated from university, to engage in a positive way. She asks me unusual questions in front of others, ignores me, and gives short responses when I try to get involved. I tried to check in with her to see if she was OK and she said I made her “uncomfortable” so she reported me to the principal.
I want to deal with the situation constructively without escalating tensions, but I want to protect my happiness and the work environment. How can I approach this while maintaining professionalism?
– Avoid clumsy
Dear AA,
It’s very difficult to be excited to meet new people, and the atmosphere is off. Our brains want to understand what is happening, so we sometimes start to assign beliefs to the person in an attempt to grasp the situation. This approach is understandable – our minds are trying to fill a confused gap, but sometimes the way we fill a gap isn’t really the case.
Your colleague may feel passive and aggressive, but you don’t know why she is acting this way. In your situation, I lean on the experience and manage this in a way that manages troublesome students. Like you said, this new colleague is fresh out of college. When I first started teaching, I didn’t know how to act at work. I did my best, but I am grateful to more experienced teachers who modeled what professional behavior looks like.
That said, I will never raise it with her again. It’s so fascinating to try to find a reason – we all want to be liked! – But it’s not worth the drama. She made it clear that she doesn’t want to develop a relationship with you right now by reporting her actions and to you, and it’s best to respect that. Use it as an invitation to maintain a friendly distance. Don’t get in the way like cold or professionals. Also, don’t get involved.
When you need to interact with this teacher, maintain the same friendly and professional attitude you’ve had throughout your career and dial to level 10. Does she ask troublesome questions? She showers her with curiosity and kindness: “What an interesting question. What did you think about it?” Does she make a rare comment that makes her feel sick? “Oh, that’s an interesting perspective. What makes you say that?” Also, whenever you need to talk to her, you try to make sure there’s someone else there and keep a clear document of your interactions.
I like this approach because it keeps you on the fight and avoids causing tension when you don’t think it deserves the outcome. You can also maintain the same friendly and professional approach as you through years of experience. You may feel that she is trying to undermine you, but it is best to show that you are intact without any evidence to prove that. It models how experienced and unflattered and professionalism looks. If you want to keep your workplace as drama free as possible, try your best to resist being drawn into the drama right now. Hopefully, she will learn through penetration, and perhaps one day, the relationship will warm up. Good luck, I believe in you!
Dear we are teachers,
I feel like I’m at my breakpoint. I teach middle school. All side chats, housekeeping conversations, minor cheating people are exhausted. I’m also an introvert, so I realize at the end of the day it’s likely that I’m incredibly over-stimulated. How can you not burn out completely?
– Big World Intle Bar
Dear iialw,
It also further identifies as the introverted aspect of the spectrum. With two toddlers in the house, I found myself increasingly grateful for the quiet time. I will definitely finish an over-stimulated and tired day. So I feel you!
First, it is essential to confirm your understanding of introverts and extroversion. It’s easy to get caught up in a label. Still, it is important to remember that the concepts of “introversion” and “extraversion” are labels that do not always indicate the nuance of the situation. Many psychologists are quick to remind you that no one is really either. This fact is important. Because quickly labeling ourselves as “too introverted to do ____” can perpetuate ideas about actually harmful abilities. So, even if you identify as an introvert, that doesn’t mean that the classroom isn’t a great place for you! It’s not about labels, but about how we manage our needs.
So let’s focus on that. You say that side chatter and housekeeping conversations are burning out you. Double checking routines and classroom norms that tend to be slower in the spring. Do students need to remind them of when they talk and when they don’t? They need some support to remember the norms, as you have fewer housekeeping conversations? Tightening the routine may help you manage some of these issues.
It also adds quiet time to your curriculum. My students quietly journal at the beginning of every class. This has many educational benefits, but it allows me to have quiet moments to gather my thoughts and prepare for the class. I also incorporate moments of meditation and mindfulness, so we can all reorganize. I also found that I value quiet time during the day. Set clear boundaries about when available to students, and use preparation and lunch time to ensure they can focus quietly when they need it.
Finally, I’m trying to make space for myself at home (very difficult). While my husband was taking a bath, the quiet person for just 30 minutes worked wonders for my mental health. I try not to engage in procrastination of revenge, but I work hard to make space so that I can get off. I don’t always get it – my two toddlers don’t get the concept of charging completely, but it’s practice.
No matter what, I recommend you keep asking questions and find a way to fill your cup so that you don’t burn out. It’s not a way to feel abnormal, you deserve to recharge! Good luck, I believe in you!
Do you have any burning questions? Please email askweareteachers@weareteachers.com.
Dear we are teachers,
I can’t help but realize that male teachers in my elementary school don’t need to do tasks that “go beyond” their teacher duties. They are on the list and are not volunteering to support, guide group activities, or organize (or contribute) potlucks. They don’t become hounds to join the Sunshine Club or turn backwards on the whims of PTA moms. Should I point this out to the principal? If so, what do you think?
– Volantrude to volunteer
