Dear we are teachers,
Our primary school has a spring carnival every year, and each year students can vote on which teacher or administrator is eligible for the “face pie” booth. Students can then purchase tickets and enter the lottery to pie the selected person. When I was voted this year and told the principal I wanted to opt out, he said, “I’m sorry, but this is a ‘other obligation assigned’. I was on the floor. Am I a bad sport or is this a wild take?
– A robust critic
Dear CC,
You’re not a bad sport – you’re setting boundaries. And your principal’s argument of “other assigned duties”? It’s a wild take. Lastly, teacher job descriptions include lesson plans and classroom management and do not function as target practices for aerial dairy products.
Look, I get it – school spirit, community events, and seeing teachers as real people to children are all good. However, “volunteers” must actually be voluntary. If you get a Pied it sounds fun to you, it’s amazing! But if the idea that the child is standing there waiting for a whipped cream grenade to launch in your face wants to change your identity and run away from the country, you should be absolutely able to opt out.
I went back to your principal and asked, “I love supporting the school’s carnival. I’m glad you helped me in a different way. I run a game booth or help with ticket sales. But I’m not comfortable taking part in a Pie in the Face event.” If they’re pushed back, ask exactly where in your contract.
Conclusion: You are a teacher, not a circus act. If it feels uncomfortable or inappropriate for you, then that’s it. Set your boundaries and stand on your ground and have someone else take it for your team. Preferred is someone who enjoys the scent of expiring whipped cream with their hair for days.
Dear we are teachers,
I teach high school journalism and am worried for a while about how slow the type of high school student is. I noticed a change shortly after our feeder middle school removed the typing classes. But my school never hears that this is a big issue, not just because of my class, but all the typing that students do in the digital age. How can I convince my school/district that keyboard classes are required?
– Keyboard Warrior
Dear kw,
Ah, I feel this. It’s painful to see my high school students hunt and peck their paths by writing essays (often on the phone!) like they’re deciphering ancient codes. And you’re absolutely right – this isn’t just a matter of journalism, it’s a matter of lifesaving.
Your best bet? Blaming them with cold and difficult facts. Research shows that strong keyboard skills improve writing flow, communication and collaboration skills, and even performance in standardized tests. When students are not wasting Brainpower by searching for the next letter, they can focus on what they are saying, not how they are entering it. This is a great article with the resources and research to back you up.
Next, you will be appealing to your favorite language: data. How long does it take for students to enter a 200-word passage? Compare that to the speed recommended for high school students (hint: I think 40+ WPM is ideal and many people aren’t getting close). If your school likes the “university and career preparation” sloppy, slowly remind yourself that typing is not just an inconvenience. It is a competitive disadvantage for students to participate in the workforce and higher education.
Finally, if you still don’t get upset about getting your keyboard back, then pitch a replacement. Can I incorporate typing practice into my journalism, English, or advisory period? If there is nothing else, please access the software input so that students can practice for themselves. After all, you should not be the one who fixes this, but you know that you’re going to do it anyway.
Good luck. And hope that students’ WPMs increase exponentially.
Dear we are teachers,
After being endlessly pranked by a sixth grade last year, this year has to be right! What is that age-good April Fool’s Day prank? I feel like I need to start planning now!
– Please loo me once
Dear Fmo,
Ah, I love this energy. You are absolutely right – Fool’s Day on the Plainland is a battlefield, and last year your sixth graders won. But this year? This year you will stand up!
The key to great classroom pranks is simple. You need to blow your mind away without blowing up classroom management. Confusion and tears are just pure and delicious confusion. And fortunately, I have some absolute chef pranks here: 17 April Fool’s Day teacher pranks melt the hearts of students.
Some of my personal favorites from junior high school:
Frozen Screen – Take a screenshot of your desktop, set it as a background, then hide all the actual icons. Watch them torture why nothing works. Bonus points if you act equally irritated. Impossible Quiz – Warm up with questions like, “What is the capital of Atlantis?” Or, “How many moons do Earth have? (Answer: That’s complicated.)” And watch them solve. “Pop Quiz” Panic – handing out a “test” filled with absurdly simple (or ridiculously difficult) questions, revealing that it was a joke just before the start of utter despair.
Plan ahead, run perfectly, and be covered in sweet, sweet confusion. this year? Winning is yours!
Do you have any burning questions? Please email askweareteachers@weareteachers.com.
Dear we are teachers,
One of our primary school APs seems to be proud of her average reputation. At lunch last week, the cafeteria for 3rd to 5th graders was particularly rough. She screamed on the bull and hurt her ears, then her ears hurt, “I think you’re mean and I don’t care, because I care.” I think this is the wrong message to send to a child. Should I complain to the principal?
– Do we care that we are not mean?
