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Spies have extraordinary skill sets that go far beyond Hollywood mythology and are beneficial to anyone, especially real estate professionals, making them perhaps the best salespeople in the world. That’s the premise of Jeremy Hurewitz’s book, Sell Like a Spy.
Mr. Hurewitz took to the stage at Inman Connect New York on Friday to share key insights from a book designed to help real estate professionals grow their businesses. Sell Like a Spy draws on lessons from elite government experts such as the FBI, Secret Service, military, and special forces.
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Mr. Flewitz is a former foreign journalist who spent 10 years covering foreign policy and intelligence in Prague, Czech Republic, and Shanghai, China. Currently based in New York, he works with government officials in the areas of corporate security and corporate intelligence.
Dispelling the spy myth
In Friday’s session, “Selling Like a Spy: The Art of Persuasion from the World of Spies,” Frewitz began by humanizing and debunking misconceptions about spies.
Jeremy Hurewitz
“We all know James Bond, right? He’s the fantasy of the Hollywood spy, and in real life he’s a dapper spy who drives an Aston Martin and engages in gunfights and car chases. The world of espionage is much more… It’s mediocre,” he explained.
Real spies don’t stand out, they blend in with their surroundings. Frewitz asked the audience. “Or would a spy be a slightly more average-looking person who can blend in with a crowd? The answer is obvious, and that’s why I’d rather have a grumpy academic than a spy who looks like Daniel Craig.” We joke that we’re more likely to find a spy who looks like him.”
In Hollywood, spies are often portrayed as coercing people into cooperating through intimidation and torture. “I can’t stand in front of you guys and say something like this has never happened,” Hurewitz acknowledged, but real spies do the same things real estate professionals do with their clients. Like, trying to build a long term relationship.
the power of connection
The first skill real estate professionals can learn from spies is connection. Spies aim to deeply connect with their targets, much like real estate agents do with their clients. Connections start from the first meeting, but not everyone clicks right away.
The Spy excels at this by practicing radical empathy. That is, recognizing that there is a core of humanity in even the most seemingly unrelated people.
When you meet with a client, if you don’t feel a connection, try to find the core of their humanity. Hurewitz quoted Abraham Lincoln: I have to get to know him better. ”
Elaborating further, Hurewitz shared a personal story about learning about 10 years ago that he had a benign brain tumor that caused him to lose hearing on the right side of his body.
Jeremy Hurewitz (Photo by AJ Canaria Creative Services)
“I’ve seen it many times in my career, when I’m talking to someone and they keep me at arm’s length, and all of a sudden it happens, “In response, people told me very intimate things about themselves and their loved ones.” ” he said. “Not everyone experiences tragedy, but everyone understands misfortune.”
In business, vulnerability fosters connection. It doesn’t have to be a serious issue, such as a health concern. It can be as simple as being caught in the rain without an umbrella.
Strategic information gathering
The next important skill is strategic intelligence, or the subtle art of “guiding.” This is a technique used by spies, journalists, real estate professionals, and others alike to gather information without making the other party feel like they’re being interrogated.
“We’ve found that there are a lot of great applications for people in the real estate industry who want to know personal details, such as people who are about to retire or have children,” Hurewitz explained. “Oftentimes using elicitation and having clients share things in a more subtle way can be a very powerful way to unearth that information.”
Direct questions can arouse defensiveness and suspicion. Instead, spies use psychological triggers to encourage people to share information organically.
One trigger for withdrawal is the rectifying tendency driven by human vanity.
“If I said to you, ‘Hey, isn’t your favorite color blue?’ Almost every time, you’d say, ‘My favorite color isn’t blue, it’s green.'”
Other elicitation techniques include flattery and awkward silence.
When using flattery, people often provide more detailed or perhaps more interesting details. Similarly, silence makes people uncomfortable and sometimes prompts them to try to fill in the gaps with valuable information.
mirroring
The last skill is mirroring. This means subtly mirroring other people’s body language and conversational patterns.
Mirroring accelerates trust because mirror neurons in our brains are activated when we observe others behaving in the same way.
Two examples of mirroring were displayed on the screen behind Hurewitz. One is an infant and the other is a man and a woman sitting together. From an early age, humans reflect the people around them.
“When you’re walking down the street and someone smiles at you, you almost automatically smile back, right?” Hurewitz asked. “Or have you ever seen someone yawn and it’s almost contagious? That’s human empathy.”
In a professional environment, mirroring helps establish trust. “If you’re sitting with a client having coffee, and they’re leaning forward with their elbows on the table, looking forward to listening to you, cross your legs like Mr. And I don’t want to lean back.” Don Draper, cool guy. You’ll want to actually lean forward and meet them where they are.
Verbal mirroring is also a powerful tool. FBI hostage negotiators cannot physically mirror someone over the phone, so they rely on verbal mirroring. They try to focus on colloquialisms and “pet words” to build trust. “I’m on your side. I know what you’re saying. Let’s figure this out,” Hurewitz said.
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