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I’ve learned (both from research and experience) that the pursuit of “better” often leads to dead ends. Better is subjective, illusory, and can even become a trap that keeps you stuck in a cycle of comparison.
“Different”, on the other hand, is often much more objective. Being resolutely and undeniably different means a decision to stand out from the herd and claim your own space in the market.
I’ve seen it in business, leadership, and life. And I know this truth. If you want to succeed at a high level, you should focus on being different and communicating that difference to the market.
Better is subjective
When I first started my real estate brokerage, Amherst Madison, I made the common mistake of trying to be “better” than my competitors. why? Because…everyone has done it. Call it ego, or maybe it’s just a lack of imagination.
Real estate as an industry is fueled by comparison, with everyone trying to claim pole position as the “best.” I struggled for years to gain a foothold in the market until I realized that my purpose and message were all wrong.
“Better” is subjective, vague, and doesn’t necessarily tie directly to your values, mission, or reason for starting your company in the first place. What may be “good” to one person is “not suitable for me” to another.
The problem with competing to be “better” is that it forces you to play by someone else’s (your competition) rules. You find yourself measuring success by standards not of your own making and chasing approval that you may never receive.
Think about it. In every industry, everyone is shouting, “We are better!” better service. Better pricing. You will get better results. It’s just noise. People ignore it because it has no meaning unless it connects directly to their specific needs and values.
When I realized that my brokerage business could not and would not be all things to all people, and changed my audience and messaging accordingly, we started to build real momentum. . We focused on being authentic and unique.
If you find yourself obsessing over how to be better than your competition, stop. Instead, ask yourself: What makes me different? Better is always up to who decides, but is there a difference? Each one stands on its own.
It’s just different
Here’s what I learned about being different. It’s not about being the best at what someone else has created. It’s about creating something completely new.
When I started my brokerage, I had no interest in following the traditional brokerage model. It wasn’t enough to simply tweak an existing method and claim it was “better.” Instead, I built something fundamentally different – something that reflects our values, vision and beliefs in elevating the real estate industry.
Perhaps more directly, we built something based on the belief that people can change, learn, and improve themselves and their situations in life.
It’s just different. It is not subject to discussion or interpretation. It’s a declaration. Let’s take Tesla’s Cybertruck as an example. At the time of its release, people ridiculed its design. Critics laughed at it. But now it is a symbol of bold innovation, and its success is undeniable. Like it or not, it’s impossible to ignore. That is the power of being different.
I’ve seen this in my own journey. Being different means creating something so compelling that the market can’t help but notice, rather than waiting for the market to appreciate your vision. The purpose is not to please everyone. It’s about finding your talent, your niche, and putting yourself out there without fear.
The system is set to test you
If you’ve ever stepped out of the norm and declared yourself different, you’ve probably experienced criticism. resistance. Push back. I know. The moment you say, “I’m different,” people will try to pull you back into the pack. That’s how the system works. Set to test you. Don’t be surprised.
When I raised my hand in the marketplace and said we were going to do things differently, I was met with brutal competition, lawsuits, defamation, and even personal attacks. It felt like the world was conspiring to make me quit. But the truth is: Systems are not personal. It’s designed to differentiate between those who truly believe in their vision and those who don’t. you will be tested.
There’s an important lesson here. Don’t interpret resistance as a sign that you’re on the wrong path. Testing is part of the process. They’re there to sharpen you, make you stronger, and prepare you for what’s to come. The only way to fail is to quit. So expect challenges, embrace them, and keep moving forward.
If you don’t tell your story, others will.
One of the most important lessons I learned is this. If you don’t tell your story, someone else will. And believe me, they won’t tell you the way you want them to.
For a long time, I thought my work spoke for itself. I thought people would naturally understand who I was and what I stood for. I was wrong. If you don’t own your story, others will define it for you and twist it to serve their own purposes.
Your story is your power. That’s what makes you different. It’s the foundation of your brand, business, and life. But it takes courage to tell your story. It means standing up in front of the world and saying, “This is who I am.” This is why I do what I do. ”
It’s not easy, but it’s necessary. And when you tell your story authentically, you build trust, authenticity, and connection.
focus on your path
Each path is different. I learned this the hard way. I have faced unexpected setbacks, failures, and detours. But the point is, success isn’t about following someone else’s map. It’s about carving your own path, no matter how difficult or unconventional it may be.
There are dangerous games we all play when we encounter difficulties. We begin to think, “It can’t be this hard.” But who decides what is “supposed” to happen? There is no rulebook that says success should come easily or quickly. You need what you need. And each person’s journey is unique.
The key is to stay focused on your objective. Know your “why.” For me, my “why” has always been about building something meaningful – something that helps others and aligns with my values. If your purpose is clear, you can withstand any storm. Knowing what you are fighting for will get you through the tough times.
Being different is not just a strategy. It’s a way of thinking. It’s reliability, perseverance, and a commitment to purpose. Yes, it’s difficult. Yes, it will test you. But it’s worth it in the end. So stop chasing “something better.” Instead, focus on what makes you different. Tell your story. Embrace the challenges and stay true to your path. Because that’s where true success lies.
Nick Shulkway is the founder of Amherst Madison, a real estate brokerage firm based in Boise, Idaho. Connect with him on LinkedIn.
