When students and teachers connect on a personal level, everyone benefits. We know that positive relationships like this cannot solve every problem that arises in the classroom, but they can support academic success, increase student motivation, and improve everyone’s mental health. Improve. That’s why we teamed up with our friends at Solution Tree to create this collection of easy ways to build and maintain positive teacher-student relationships. Check out Avanti by Solution Tree’s relationship building and other professional development ideas here.
Build good teacher-student relationships
As schools face teacher shortages, underfunding, and other major educational challenges, efforts to build positive teacher-student relationships may be more important than ever. In fact, building a safe, supportive, and collaborative culture is the first level of the High-Reliability Schools (HRS) framework, a way to improve schools through research-backed practices. As elementary school principal Beau Ryan notes in an Avanti blog post, this framework can help schools succeed during the most challenging times. Try these ideas to build relationships and create a collaborative culture.
1. Know and use student names
It sounds very basic, but it’s really important. Try to memorize each student’s preferred name as early as possible in each grade. Be sure to learn the correct pronunciation and avoid using nicknames of your own choosing. Next, take the time to learn a little more about them. A back-to-school icebreaker or “which would you choose” question can be a great start.
More information: How to remember all your students’ names on the first day of school
2. Greet personally
we are teachers
Try to greet as many students as possible each day. Making them feel seen also increases their sense of responsibility for their actions and actions. For younger children, try greeting each child individually as they enter the classroom in a manner of their choice, such as a high five or a wave. For older students, stand in the hallway for a few minutes after school and say hello to passersby. A little eye contact and small talk can go a long way in building relationships.
Details: Welcome students in the morning with this free classroom greeting sign
3. Accept breaks and lunchroom duty.
These duties usually make teachers groan, but try looking at them from a different perspective. This is your chance to chat with lonely students, keep an eye on pressing issues, or just watch them have fun together as they run and play. In some cases, it may be easier to develop positive teacher-student relationships outside of the classroom.
More: Recess and 5 other moments that busy teachers should prioritize
4. Recognize the whole student
Every student spends more of his or her life outside the classroom than inside. Each student brings their own background, situation, and personality to school every day. The more you know about those aspects, the more you can connect with your students. And that doesn’t just mean students’ personal lives. Try to understand how your students are doing academically overall. The Avanti people highlight examples of Spanish teachers who worked hard to help their students with literacy and reaped academic and personal benefits in the process.
More information: At the heart of education: Every teacher’s strong influence on Avanti literacy (solution tree)
5. Get involved in the school community
Avanti has lots of helpful tips for new teachers looking to build strong relationships with their students, including making an effort to become part of the wider school community. Attend sporting events, buy tickets to fall plays, check out student work displayed in common areas, and support fundraisers (if you can). If you’re motivated, you can also consider coaching a team or working as an advisor for a club or organization.
More information: Tips for new teachers to build positive relationships with students in Avanti (by solution tree)
Maintaining good teacher-student relationships
Once you start building these relationships, it’s important to maintain them both inside and outside of the classroom. Avanti offers five simple tips for building and maintaining better relationships with your students. Here’s how to use them:
6. Actively listen with your whole body
we are teachers
Be a good listener when interacting with students. Make eye contact and give your full attention. This can be a huge challenge as teachers are often extreme multitaskers. But your students will know when you’re really listening and when you’re not, and they’ll trust you accordingly. Additionally, when you model strong active listening, students learn to utilize it.
Learn more: 10 ways to practice comprehensive whole-body listening
7. Share laughter with appropriate humor.
For most people, a shared sense of humor is one of the most important requirements for any type of relationship. You may not always laugh at the same things your students are doing (seriously, why do students find body sounds so funny?), but sharing a laugh can help connect you. very helpful in building. Make sure your humor is age-appropriate and don’t underestimate your students’ laughter. Instead, focus on things you find interesting together.
More information: If you have 5 minutes of free time, watch 25 funny videos for kids that are suitable for school
8. Practice regular self-care
Sympathy and empathy are important components of a successful teacher-student relationship. But if you don’t practice self-care, you can’t provide care to others. You can’t have a positive teacher-student relationship if you’re burnt out, sick, or exhausted. Avanti experts recommend using self-monitoring strategies on a regular basis, such as keeping a diary and setting daily goals. You can also model self-care practices for your students, like taking deep breaths when you’re upset or inviting everyone in for a physical brain break when you’ve been working too hard for too long.
More information: 5 self-monitoring strategies for building student relationships with Avanti (by solution tree)
9. Employ meaningful and constructive discipline.
One of the mistakes teachers sometimes make in their relationships with students is worrying that the relationship will be destroyed if they have to discipline the student. But to maintain a healthy relationship, both participants must follow stated and unstated rules. The key to maintaining connection when disciplining students is to remain empathetic but firm, and to tailor any punishment to be meaningful. Taking recess time away from unruly children will only make them resentful (and prevent them from having a chance to use up their extra energy). Try to understand the reasons behind bad behavior. That way, your relationship with your students will go well.
Learn more: 10 ways to discipline students without taking recess
10. Demonstrate trust through student responsibility.
Showing students that you respect and believe in them is an important part of building relationships. In younger classrooms, teachers often assign classroom tasks to each student. This simple exercise fosters a sense of responsibility and shows children that you trust them with tasks big and small. Middle school and high school teachers can similarly adjust their responsibilities to accommodate older age groups.
More information: A large list of classroom jobs for preschool through 12th grade.
Deepen teacher-student relationships
Looking for a way to go the extra mile and really connect with your students? Try these ideas.
11. Accept student feedback
No matter how long you’ve been teaching, student feedback can feel scary. However, this is a really great way to understand your students better. Even anonymous feedback can give you a sense of the general vibe in the room and how strong your relationship really is. Giving students a voice in the classroom is one easy way to build positive teacher-student relationships. Don’t be afraid to accept feedback. You can’t grow until you know that.
More information: Free printable student attitude survey
12. Holding regular individual conferences
This idea comes from the Avanti team, and it’s a bit more work, but it’s a real game changer. Holding individual conferences directly with students (usually without parent involvement) provides an opportunity to build genuine relationships. “My students love participating in individual conferences. It keeps us interacting at a level that cannot be consistently achieved in a large class setting,” says teacher Jen Culler. Ton Johnson says.
More information: 6 steps to successful one-on-one meetings with students (by solution tree) to build better relationships with students in Avanti
13. Use social media (appropriately)
It’s a fine line to walk, but with a little use of social media, you can meet students where they are. At Avanti, we encourage incorporating social media into the learning environment rather than “friending” all students online. For example, create a private Facebook or Instagram chat group for your class where parents and students can post questions and show off their work. Or, instead of writing a standard report, give your students the opportunity to create a video for YouTube or TikTok. Kids today are often on social media, so use social media to connect with them.
More information: Avanti social media strategy for strong teacher-student relationships (by solution tree)
14. Reflect on your relationships
Journaling in and out of the classroom has many benefits for students and teachers. One way to use your personal journal is to reflect on your relationships with your students. Think about what’s going well and where you’ve hit speed bumps. Think about who you find difficult to connect with and brainstorm ways to overcome those challenges. This is one of three relationship-building strategies recommended by Avanti. See others in the links.
More information: 3 strategies and 5 activities for building relationships with Avanti students (by solution tree)
15. Student Advocate
As we at Avanti know, when a teacher’s voice is empowered, it can have a huge impact on the success of the entire school. One way to use your voice is to stand up for students who need support. This could mean advocating for a fair change in the dress code, or encouraging a new perspective for students who have gotten a bad reputation but want a change. Find your teacher voice and use it to make a difference.
More information: The powerful impact of teacher voice on Avanti school success (by solution tree)
16. Invite students to visit again
Your relationship with your students doesn’t have to end when they leave your classroom. Long-time teachers value visits from former students, whether it’s a year or 10 years from now. When your current students see how close you still are to your former students, they will know they have a teacher who truly cares about them now and in the future.
More information: Once you’re my student, you’re always my student
Overcoming difficult student-teacher relationships
Is there value in building and maintaining these relationships?Yes. Is it always easy? no way. Some kids will push your buttons in the wrong way, and others will want to get closer than necessary. Use these strategies to get through your toughest relationships.
17. Establish and enforce healthy boundaries
Determine and enforce boundaries that apply to all students. For example, you might say that students can only be contacted by email (no text messages or social media DMs) and that they only check their email once on the weekend. We welcome students to stop by after school, but it’s okay if you consider alone lunch breaks and planning periods to be sacrosanct. Establish your boundaries and stick to them.
Learn more: How to set boundaries as a teacher without being mean.
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