You don’t have to be Lionel Messi or Cristiano Ronaldo to appreciate the beautiful game of football. Football is the world’s most popular sport and has been played in over 200 countries. Whether you lose a tough game and need something to brighten up your mood, just by watching the sport you can get kicks from these soccer jokes, puns and one-liners. Read, bookmark and share with players and fellow fans!
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Soccer Joke
Soccer Pun and One Liner
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Funny soccer jokes
1. What is the favorite soccer position of the ghost?
Ghoul Keeper.
2. What did the bad soccer announcer get at Christmas?
coooooaaaaallll !!!!!
3. Why can’t Cinderella play soccer?
Because she’s always running away from the ball.
4. Why don’t grasshoppers watch soccer?
They watch cricket instead.
5. What kind of tea do soccer players drink?
prison.
6. My boyfriend made a save at a soccer match.
That’s how I knew he was the Keeper.
7. Which soccer player has the biggest cleats?
Those with the largest legs.
8. What position do ghosts play in soccer?
Gooley.
9. When a dinosaur scores a goal, what is it called?
Dino score.
10. Where do soccer players go to dance?
football.
11. What illuminates the soccer stadium?
Soccer game.
12. Why could no one see the soccer ball?
The defense cleared it.
13. What time does a soccer team chase after a baseball team?
11 after 9 (9:11).
14. Why shouldn’t you play soccer in the jungle?
There are too many cheetahs!
15. Why did Soccer Ball quit the team?
I was tired of being kicked.
16. Why do soccer players come up with the best soccer jokes?
They know how to use their brains.
17. What kind of soccer teams will cry when it loses?
Ball club.
18. How does Bird cheer for a soccer team?
They make them into eggs.
19. Why was chicken kicked out of a soccer game?
Permanent chicken play.
20. Why didn’t the dog want to play soccer?
He was a boxer.
21.How do soccer players stay cool during the game?
They play close to the fans.
22. Why did the soccer player bring strings to her game?
She was able to tie the scores together.
23. What time does an elephant step into your soccer ball?
Time to get a new ball.
twenty four. Knock knock.
Who is there?
soccer.
Who is soccer?
Socc-ser for the drawer.
25. What do soccer umpires send during holidays?
Yellow card.
26. Are always successful forwards always trying to do it?
Achieve your goals.
27. Which soccer player keeps the field clean?
sweeper.
28. Why did defensive soccer players cross the road?
You will reach other slides.
29. Why couldn’t All-Star soccer players listen to music?
Because he broke all the records.
30. What do you call someone who is screaming back and forth for a minute, and does the next person sit crying and crying?
Soccer coach.
31. Where does the forward go to dance?
Soccer ball.
32. Why didn’t the poor soccer team have a website?
They couldn’t draw the three w together.
33. Soccer Riddle: Two soccer teams compete against each other. The home team wins, but no one on either team scores a goal. How about this?
They were a women’s soccer team!
34. Why can’t you play soccer with pigs?
They embrace the ball.
35. How do tea bags play soccer?
It soaks the ball.
36. Why did the soccer team visit the Bermuda triangle?
To find their missing soccer ball.
37. Why were soccer players’ uniforms always wrinkled?
Because they couldn’t find irons at the soccer stadium.
38. Why was the light bulb good for soccer?
It’s always the brightest player on the field!
39. Why was a bad soccer announcer fired?
He couldn’t find the backstage of the net in words.
40. What do many soccer fans and many people have in common as they chase the butterflies?
Both are packed.
41. What soccer teams will cry after every match?
The player of “Tears”.
42. Which part of the football pitch smells the worst?
After the soccer match, the end zone!
43. Why are scrambled eggs losing the soccer team?
Because they were both beaten.
44. What is it that runs around a soccer field, but never moves?
fence.
45. What do you call it when a soccer player is not wearing a cleat?
Socker.
46. What do you call it when an electric eel plays soccer?
Shocker.
47. What do you call a very tired soccer game?
Slog cell.
48. If a team loses, when soccer fans cry like babies, what do you call it?
Soccer ball.
49. Why don’t soccer fans wear glasses?
It’s contact sports.
50. What is the name of a soccer team that plays in tall grass?
Weed unification.
51. What is the name of the soccer team made up of Jokers?
Mangester United.
52. What is the name of a soccer team made up of confused and incorrect players?
liverfool.
53. What soccer team is made up of light bulbs?
Watford.
54. What is the name of a soccer team where magic is no?
Notwitch City.
55. What is the name of the tanned soccer team?
Burntley FC.
56. What is the name of the brightest soccer team?
Light Quester City.
57. What is the name of the most bent soccer team?
Bentford.
58. What do you call a soccer team that is just a winger?
Birdmingham City.
59. Which soccer team is made up of nuns solely?
A city of a monastery.
60. Which soccer teams are made up of midfielders only?
Middle-less sloppy.
61. Which soccer team is made up of sheep?
Baaaa-celona.
62. Which soccer teams are learning to read?
ABCDE FC.
63. What do you call referees in dog soccer games?
Raffary.
64. What do you call the Greek philosopher who played football?
soccer.
65. Who is one of the richest soccer players in the world?
Cristiano Rorondow.
66. What do you call a pig that doesn’t give you a ball?
Ball hogger.
67. What is your goalkeeper’s favorite snack?
Beans in the mailbox.
68.How do Italian soccer players ask their teammates to hand the ball?
Pasta bowl.
69. What do soccer players say on Halloween?
Hat Trick or Treat!
70. What do you call a ship that holds 20 soccer teams and what do three teams leave it every season?
Premiership.
71. How does the top of the soccer goal post feel whenever the ball hits it?
Crossbar.
72. What do you call a Greek mythical creature playing soccer?
Centaur ahead.
73. What did Santa bring about the naughty soccer player?
coaaaaaal!!!!
74. Which goalkeeper can jump higher than a crossbar?
All of them. The crossbar does not jump.
75. Why are soccer players excellent at mathematics?
They really know how to use their brains.
76. Why did soccer balls go to school?
To get a kickstart in life.
77. What is your favorite animal for soccer players?
Score Pion.
78. What do you call a soccer player who doesn’t score a goal?
keeper.
79. What did the soccer player get from the bakery?
roll.
80. What did the magician show the soccer player?
hat trick.
81. Why did soccer players carry pencils?
To draw a foul.
82. What was the team of cow soccer players called?
Moon knit.
83. Why couldn’t soccer players play cards?
They continued to get the red cards (deleted from the game).
84. Why did soccer players fail in art class?
They couldn’t draw a foul.
85. Why did players enjoy soccer jokes so much?
They were soccer for a good pun.
86. What was the lazy kangaroo soccer player called?
Pouch potatoes.
87. What is the best position to play if you don’t like soccer?
Right behind – return to the locker room.
88. How do you stop a squirrel from playing soccer?
Hide the balls – it drives them nuts!
89. What is the best way to make a soccer coach smile?
Win the game.
90. What is the difference between a teebag and a bad soccer team?
Tea bags stay in the cup for a long time!
91. What do you call a day without soccer?
I love soccer and I love it too much to know!
Soccer Pun and One Liner
92. When the pitch floods, the soccer team brings in submarines.
93. My mother told me not to date a soccer player because they only have one chance for each of them being a keeper.
94. Soccer is the only sport not an inch game. It’s a foot game.
95. A soccer player is always the first person to roll the ball on any task.
96. The football pitch gets wet very quickly as the player dribbles all the time.
97. Salmon is known for his dream of being an honorable soccer player.
98. Tell soccer jokes just for kicks.
99. The swimmers are terrible in football as they continue to dive.
100. The best place to buy a new soccer shirt is New Jersey.
101. The soccer player is so bright that his mother calls him “sunlight” when he is on the field.
102. Soccer Defender: A bunch of goal-oriented ones!
103. Cleat Expectations: When you think you’ll win the game just by knitting.
104. Offside? “Oh, the side… I thought it was clear!”
105. I knew about a rather bulging soccer ball. I had a very big ego.
106. Where you’re not playing soccer, the grass is always green.
107. The man who invented soccer then got a kick.
108. My son played football in the mud all day, so he was a bit Messi.
109. If you were a soccer ball, I would never shoot because I would never miss you.
110. They must finish the soccer game in an art competition. That way you will win, lose, draw.
111. You may be weak for seven days without playing soccer.
112. Soccer is a strange game. It’s a bunch of people who run away from their goals.
113. I’m soccer for you.
114. The left and right midfielders eat wings after the match.
115. Punt-Il next time.
116. I took a picture of you that you should know the truth.
117. It’s past your SOC-CERFEW.
118. My goal is to break good soccer jokes.
119. When you pay with a soccer ball, it is called SOC-Cerrency.
120. The soccer player was a free kick about taking penalty shots.
121. Soccer players know how to set up traps, which is difficult.
122. The best dog breed for soccer is the Golden Retriever.
one two three. The referee is a blind soccer player.
124. I heard someone say they have to play soccer with their sophomore. They really should invest in the ball.
125. I’m heading towards a cleat over, in love with soccer!
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